did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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