do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
We had sex on a dog bed..
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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