Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I think I sprained my soul last night
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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