i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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