That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
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