Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I am naked and annoyed.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize
