At least make sure they are 18
Why
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
