So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
