You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
