Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize