if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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