no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
