i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
