You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
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