How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
