yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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