Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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