just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Everything about him screamed your future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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