Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize