This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
