and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
