apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
