Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
