found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
