Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
The best revenge is premature balding
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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