i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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