You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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