And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
