Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
