I like to think it a success when the cops are called
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
