Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
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