my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
