Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Floor bacon is actually really good
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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