apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize