There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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