Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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