Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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