great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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