Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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