I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
