Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize
