birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
As shirtless as possible
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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