New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I need to calm my uterus...
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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