3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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