I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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