i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
