I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
