Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
