I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
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all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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