I'm so fucking centered right now
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
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It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
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Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Why are your pants in the freezer?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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