don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Are we still banned from the library?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
