I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Randomize
