strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize