I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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