If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
