I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
