even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
