remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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