best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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