I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
