We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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