Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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